i can color...kinda

I stopped by b&n the other night and found a decent set of colored pencils.  Of course I had to try them out right away!   So here's Serra again. 

I'll color the cactus probably too and then get going on the other few drawing waiting. 

is it the weekend yet?

email fwd

This is so cool

http://www.slightlywarped.com/crapfactory/curiosities/onemanstrash.htm

But I need page 140 :(

I open the book, skim the TOC and need page 140. But pages 37-218 are missing..WTF? It's going to be one of those days.. isn't it?

OMG NO!

Today when I was brushing my teeth I noticed the worst possible thing I could have ever seen.

I thought at first I just dribbled some toothpaste spittle, seeing as I was still brushing my teeth. Upon closer inspection it was an enormous, long, scraggly, gray hair sticking out from my chin!   I immediately plucked the hair from the front of my beard.

DENY DENY DENY!!!

And then I saw another...  *PLUCK*

I refused to look anymore.  Spit, rinse, and walk away.

Ugh, it was so gross, and coarse, and icky!  *SHIVER*

Seems like just yesterday I was running around in diapers. ;-)

Sadness.

sent by nadia

Im running around the office and ppl keep grabbing their phones and taking pics :P  here's one someone forwarded me

Robert is sitting at his desk beet red and had to put his head down he was laughing so hard.. hehehe

none of the managers noticed me strut by twice...darnit

i have to poo

someone, who works in an elderly care facility ran out of packing material so they used adult diapers to send us a package.

you know me...i can't help myself!

Emails with the old work place

So the old workplace still had (notice the past tense there) me on retainer.  They needed me to work the weekend and get a project totally rocked out and live on their site...  so I emailed them over the weekend telling them it was done and sent a walk-through document on it.

Then I got this email from my old evil minion.  I used to demand, as part of his job, that he call me genius at least 3 times a day...

 

 

From: Crunchy
To: Daniel

You’re such pimp! That looks great!!

PURE GENIUS

---

From: Daniel
To: Crunchy

What was that?  Wha wha? 

---

From: Crunchy
To: Daniel

I said you were a GENIUS. I suppose that I am a bit behind on my quota so…

Daniel *censored* is a GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS

OMG NOESZ

It's a sad day in my cube... my favorite coffee syrup ran out.  I licked out every last drop of my almond roca.  Sure I have the starbucks syrups in various flavors...but this crappy brand syrup was by far my favorite.

*cries*

My boss just walked up to me and caught me staring at my empty bottle.

"Booze run dry?"
"My coffee syrup is all gone... this is the last coffee i'll make with it."
"You and Robert both, I swear!"
"Oh I didn't know he was a coffee hound... Maybe I'll go tell him so someone can share my pain..."

Someone bring me another bottle, I'm already jonesing...and I'm not even done with my last cup.

Oh, and yes, that's imaginary friends on my desktop screen.  They're sharing my pain too. 

Phone is gone.

The phone has been taken, sorry guys!

Joke: Brokeback Ranch

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch but knew very little about ranching, so she placed an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and, when no one else applied, she decided to hire the
gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks the two of them worked hard and the ranch was doing very well.

Then one day, the rancher's widow said, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels."
The hired hand readily agreed and went into town on Saturday night.

He returned around 2:30 am, and, upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her. "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.
Trembling, he did as she directed.

"Now take off my boots."
He did as she asked, ever so slowly.

"Now take off my socks."
He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

"Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the firelight.

"Now take off my bra."
Again, with trembling hands he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said: "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired!"

anyone want a sprint phone?

just switched to helio... my old phone is up for grabs.   Comes with charging cradle, car charger and (maybe) a belt clip.  and no, you can't have the memory card, i'm keeping that :P

feel free to offer me money, or just tell him how pretty i am and i'll send it to the best schmoozer.

oh, and you pay shipping :P

shoo fly!

OMG a fly just went up my nose!!  Luckily, I blew out and it flew away.

EW EW EW!

Isn't this type of thing supposed to happen to people with enormous noses??  Mine is tiny and cute. :(

YAY, my new phone is here

So I couldn't help myself like usual... I bought a new phone.  And it just arrived... which was a shock sine it wasn't expected for a few days.

I hate that when you get a phone you have to charge it.

I want to play now, damnit!  NOW.

Just as well, I need to get some work done.

I'm bored, lets be creative

I've been bored with life lately... I've been dragging out some of my art stuff to play with and at least be somewhat productive at something.  I always find myself sitting and staring at the page instead of actually creating anything.

So... tell me what you'd like me to doodle.   Don't expect anything more than 5 or 10 minutes worth of doodling. Unless of course I get inspired and decide to do more with it.

I'll post it here whenever it's done (depending on how many I get).  Since there's no scanner here at work it will most likely be posted at night.  I'll do them in the order they're received.

not porn

malcolm just sent this to me... take a look

not porn

deja vu

It's the error I fear will just keep repeating itself.

A few weeks ago I had ordered a spindle of lightscribe dvd's.  I was excited to find a spindle because I couldn't find any retailers that actually carried a whole spindle... it's always packs of 10 or 20 or something small like that.

I hadn't noticed that they sent cd's instead of dvd's until I got home and pulled a disc out to burn on.

Defeated, I emailed them and told them of the error.  The receipt even says 100 dvd's.

I never did receive a response.  However, today I received a package.  I was excited once I saw the return address on the box!  I opened the box once I returned to my desk only to find ANOTHER spindle of cd's.

I sat here staring at my email inbox contemplating whether or not I should email them again.  I could only imagine another spindle of cd's showing up in a few weeks.

"I never use CD's!  What am I going to do with 200 of them???" I bitched to  my empty desk.

Rachel who sits next to me peeked around the cube divider and told me she uses them all the time.

"Well if they don't tell me I have to send them back, you can have them."

At least they will have a happy home.... or be turned into a sculpture (they are rainbow colored afterall).

annoyances

I made the mistake of speaking up when a certain office person mentioned a restaurant she liked.  I then sat through another lecture how her 'exploits' as a 20 year old in college.

Yesterday, we had an employee barbeque outside on the deck. The big boss and I were discussing housing when she pops into the conversations and tells us how she's needs to buy a medical grade girdle.... or a whole bunch of cheap ones.

Holy Random!

It amazes me how her mind must work.  I want to crack open her skull and examine what's going on in there... and then stab the hell out of her brain with my emo knife.

She's a nice girl, but really needs to be quiet, listen more, and understand how to carry a conversation.

It's pissing a bunch of people off. 

nerds unite!

Happy Programmer's Day!  ...you big nerds.

oh no'z, she's back!

 The chick who sits directly behind me is back from her vacation/conference in Vegas.  While I like her, it was definitely nice to have the corner of the office all to myself.

And besides...now I have to find somewhere else to fart all day!

a dlm moment

I totally had a dead like me moment just now when the new girl gave me a 20 minute lecture on her fat cats and how pitiful they can be when they squeeze their fat butts where they don't belong.

I'm going to start calling her Dolores.

raw for 30 days

 

Raw for 30 Days

 

I was totally watching the trailer a minute ago while scarfing a sugar laden muffin and saying "I should totally do that..." through all the crumbs.

How sad am i!

But I should do it...anyone want to join me?  :P

come on now

You know what I love?  I love walking into the single bathroom we have in the office and finding that someone totally sharted all over and didn't even try to clean up.

I hate people.

sucrose and seasonings, and all that's amiable

Serra was all, like, girly 'n stuff this weekend.  It was scary.  Cute, but scary.  Ok, not that scary. 

 

That is all.

dead

I was bored, and someone was annoying me so I got
out paint and pretended I bashed them over the head.

coffee math

So I was thinking earlier about how my coffee consumption has drastically escalated since I took on the new job.  Having a free starbucks machine constantly pumping coffee into my cup hasn't helped any.

I figured that I'm averaging about 10 - 12 cups a day.   and when I say "cups" I really mean 20 oz mugs.

So, 12 x 20oz = 240 oz.   (too bad I wasn't drinking that much water!)

They say about 85mg of caffeine are in a standard cup of coffee.

240 oz is 30 cups of coffee... so 30 x 85mg = 2550 mg or 2.55g

And then when I tack on a few diet sodas and anything extra I'm probably about getting about 2.75g.

With ~5g being the lethal dose, I'm more than 1/2 the way to suicide by coffee.

And the sad thing is I never get jittery or hyper.  I'm still the laid back 'ol Daniel.

Maybe I should drink more.

Grow my lil minions, GROW! MWHAHAHA

that's a really pretty pink

Everyone keeps walking up to me and telling me "that's a really pretty pink."  Ok, I don't usually wear pink... but it was one of the only things clean and not in the wash/hamper.

And if they don't comment, they just stare and then nod when they snap out of their stupor.

I keep telling myself it's not the shirt, it's because I'm so pretty....

I'm not buying it either.

nano

i want a new nano... someone buy me one.  i'll take green. kk thx.

emo

Sometimes… I want to stab people with my emo knife.

foooooood

 

All the free lunches and stuff is going to make me double in size.  Maybe it’s time to start looking into forklifts… hmmm.

growth

I was surprised to walk in after a long weekend and see my USB greenhouse already has an inch of growth!

Grow my little minions, GROW! MWHAHAHA