Dear fellow 5th floor pooper,
It is a well known fact that you always leave your newspaper in the restroom. Since you are obviously able to walk in with a newspaper in hand, I can only assume this is done as a courtesy to your co-workers and not as a means to avoid embarrassment whilst walking out with one.
I just wanted to say thank you. I do appreciate having something to read while I visit your floor's restroom.
The purpose of this short letter is to encourage you to read something other than the sport's section. I personally would rather sing to fill the time than read the latest in sports. Perhaps you've heard my recent rendition of "I'm poop'n", a parody of Jerry Lee Lewis' song, "I'm Walkin'"?
I will admit that I'm too cheap to purchase a paper for a few minutes of reading each day, but that I am also not above demanding you leave us better materials.
Think of this as a request to do something nice for those who have to hear me sing and squeeze one out.
A thankful but agitated pooper,
Daniel
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