Malcolm is the mother of God

no soop fo u!

photo ganked from kidmissile

Friday is Bagel Day at work. We come into work and bagels are provided in the main lunch room.

Last week I got the last bagel... the dreaded salt bagel. This week, however, I got nothing.

Why can't we order more bagels so we have enough? Why you gotta ruin my Friday by taunting me with a bagel and then not having any?

You know the day is going downhill when you don't even get your free bagel, heh.

eat the raisin...eat it!

 

I came home last night to crying kitties who were out of food.  Damnit, why do they need to eat?  Like I'm not poor enough.

"Here monkey, eat this raisin...eat it!"

Well she didn't want the raisin, so I had to head off to the store before they decided I was expendable and edible... well either that or converted to cannibalism.

I could totally turn this into a bitter post about how someone stuck me with their cat and promised to pay child support.  I could mention how I never saw a dime and still has his damn cat and storing a lot of his crap  ..or you know how they still owe me money for auto insurance...  you know, like..whatever, i'm totally cool with getting screwed over. 

So.. since this isn't a bitter post... happy happy joy joy.

 

wheres my snow

Hey YOU.  Up THERE... Where's my snow??

 

Word around Seattlelites this week was that we were supposed to get snow.  Well... where's my damn snow??

Work is productive and slow.  I can't wait for the weekend to begin.  Needing a break from it all.

In other news, it appears i'm not the only one miffed with bicyclists.   Seattle PI: Bicyclist shot

desktop greenhouse

My desk flowers are flourishing after neglecting them for only a week.  How exciting!

one more

one more test

Read full article

case in point

See!  This is what I'm saying about those damn milk jugs!

the fountain

Malcolm and I went for coffee yesterday morning, as we often do.  Whilst passing the fountain in the park I thought I'd share it with you.  So.. I snapped a quick shot.  Take it all in bitches :P~

hey...just be glad it was the a shot of the little boy statue.  that would just be wrong.

Cant get enough

Can't get enough Daniel? My spewage is now mobile! Point your mobile browser at http://blog.danielkenneth.com (Can you tell I was bored during lunch?)

$100 challenge

$100 left until payday next week.  Oy!   My challenge, that I am forced to accept, is to make it a week+ (knowing that I probably have a guest this weekend) without bouncing my account.

I've never done it before... lets see if I can make it.

Yeah, I'm already laughing knowing it's impossible.... but let us pretend that it is not.

at least I think it's a hundred... I did some spending in Canada that hasn't cleared yet.... maybe it's more like $25.

*slam head on desk*

the suck

the new milk jug is the suck.. i've never spilled so much milk after opening a jug. sure it's great when it's half empty.... and doesn't take that long to to get half empty cuz you spilled half of it already!

conference calls are fun, mm'kay?

conference calls are sooooo long and serious.....ugh.

anger... brewing......rage.....building....

Almost done with my current side project.  It'll be such a load off my mind when it's done and it'll be awesome to have my nights back.

I feel the rage today... not sure why.  I think it's just a lot of pent up aggression towards people in general.  Sometimes I feel like just breaking free and beating the crap out of some random person.

Maybe I'm one of those people they should've put through intensive psych evals before hiring.   I might like go crazy and rampage or something.

Nah.... I don't think anyone is worried about that.  A manager told me a week ago that I was the nicest guy he ever met.  I'm sure he was just sucking up... I'm really quite an asshole.  Besides, even if they were to worry about me rampaging, I think we all know that there's only one person going down if any one of us goes postal.

new jewelry

my tummy hurts

i know it's old, but i keep watching it and laughing so hard my tummy hurts...

wotd

Word of the day:  shuga'betes.

Use-ification: Good lawd, Mah shuga'betes was in an uprawrs last nights.

i stepped outside

I stepped outside and found it quite brisk...frigid almost... like my soul.

I found myself staring at some flowers and thought "DIE FLOWERS DIE!!!"

looming

one nasty looking cloud is looming over downtown seattle.

it just keeps getting better...

So after the whole scraping incident, I decided to pout and take my pain out on a bagel.  It's bagel Friday, after all! 

I go up to the 5th floor lunch room and find one lonely bagel left.  The cursed salt bagel...no wonder it was left.  I mean really, who needs this munch salt?  So I scraped most of it off, much like the paint on my car...

Overly-Salty Salty Salt bagel...you mah only friend.

i made a boo boo :(

the damn cement post in the parking structure had it out for me...i swears!

wireless

After a two hour conference call yesterday, Rachel found me a wireless headset.  The highlight of my day was being able to walk to the coffee machine during my call today and still be able to participate.

We all know coffee comes first.

drew something

So I finally drew something out last night before leaving work.  Found an interesting drawing online that I really liked and converted it to a glass window.  I'd post it but I'm going to do it as a gift for one of the friends.

Please send drawings/doodles, I'll need more projects soon :)

Now... to find time to work on it...hmmm.

lacking creativity

 

 I feel like making something in glass.  I finally have a small desk in my room cleared off.  It's been a while since I've made anything.

I want to make a panel, I think.

I'm just lacking creativity to draw anything out.  I have a few ideas, but nothing has really solidified in my mind.

Anyone feel like drawing me something? 

my mug stirs itself...

because i'm just too damn lazy to find a spoon.

so tired

It's 3am and i'm sitting at work after having driven from canada.  Quarterly financial reports are to be posted at 4am so i'm sitting and waiting.  Been here for an hour already.

I'm going to be hurting in a few hours when the alarm goes off.

please? PLEASE??

if you love me, you'll buy me these swear boots.  size 46...

4am? oh man

Yay, I get to be up at 4am on Monday to post my company's quarterly statements for the investors.

Hrmph.

snl

Malcolm showed this to me when I got to work a few minutes ago... had me laughing.  Great way to start the day!

inspiration

so, like, omg... i like, inspire people.   and stuff.

 

http://www.electronic-replicant.com/archives/2007/11/entry_258.html#258

 

i feel special :) not special-special...but you know, like... special.

cool guy, check his blog out from time to time...  and junk.

cleo

Cleo made it onto icanhascheezburger.com today...

http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/11/05/i-can-has-mouf/

analytics

So I stuck Google analytics in my journal since I was using it at work on another project.

Guess what the number 1 search term is that gets people to my journal?

Granted it's only been a week or so of collecting data, but still... It's "itchy nipples".   And I'm far from the top which makes me wonder how many people's nipples are itching enough to dig through 20 or so pages of results.

getting passed around the office

I'm the biggest fatty...or so I'm told.

One of the managers catches me in the hallway and stops me.  He tells me he was talking to some guy here in the office and they decided I'm the biggest in the office..

I asked who said this.. and he described him but I didn't recognize the description.

"Yeah, he says he only weighs like 350lbs so your the biggest."

I just glared at him and said "I don't weigh 350."   Just pretty much ran away after that with me shouting "THANKS A LOT!"

 

Seriously, WTF!?   This comes out of no where... Telling me I'm the fattest in the office.  And he's a manager!!  Wouldn't this be part of those people managing skills your supposed to have as a manager?

It takes a lot to offend me and I can't even remember the last time I got rubbed the wrong way... but for some reason this pissed me off.

My evil half says go to HR.   My not to evil, but still evil side, says just let it go.

As a compromise, I decided to draw this quick doodle and bitch about it in my journal.

lost earring

Me: I'm here about the lost earring you mass emailed about..
Receptionist:  The email said it was lost in the women's restroom.
Me: Don't judge me.

YAY! Winter is coming, WHEE!

Why you gotta be like that asp .net

taco kisses for my ben!

Happy Halloween, ev'rybody!  I didn't even remember it was a holiday until a giant taco walked through my office.  We already had our house party (pics probably gonna be downloaded tonight) so Halloween already seems over to me.

I have this feeling it's going to be a big distraction today and am not going to accomplish a darn thing at work... which is making me wish I would've just stayed in bed.

I hate holidays.

itch

my right ass cheek won't stop itching.... make it stop :(

 

aren't you glad i didn't post a picture for this entry?  hehe

still sick...STILL

it's been over 2 weeks now and still sick.   Friday night when i got home i laid down for a short nap.... 17 hours later I woke up and still wanted to sleep!

now, my sinus' are infected.

 

WHY GOD?  WHY!?!?!

 

:P

another requested doodle

I was bored, so i grabbed my sharpie and doodled megabyte... paul and emily's puppy.  makes me wish I had a pen and ink set, or maybe even thinner sharpies, hehe.  oh well, it was fun while lit lasted.   back to work...

totally got me

So I'm chatting with Caleb about his horrible diet (that skinny bastard!) when brink walks in from lunch.

Brink: Something smells like updog in here!
Me: What's updog?
Brink: Nothing, what's up with you?

all I could do was put my head down.  it was so painfully obvious, my stupidity hurt.

left alone to my own devices

I've been sick and since I haven't had any sick days I decided to work from home yesterday.  Working from home is nothing new, I've done it for years in the past.  But getting to do it again reminded me of why I enjoy it so much.

1) Nearly free and endless amounts of lattes

2) Silence and solitude

3) No public bathrooms

4) lunch time naps

 

I forgot how much work I'm capable of accomplishing when I'm in a distraction free environment.  I accomplished more yesterday morning than I had in days at the office.

Maybe some day I'll push to have it be a more regular occurrence.

o Oprah, you so crazy wrong

Dear O,

I have to say I normally agree with you....  usually.  Today, I tried Ezell's which is boasted to be your favorite.  People kept telling me how you have it shipped directly to your mouth, which I must say, did impress me.

After tasting your favorite chicken, I do have to tell you that you are wrong.  Dead wrong.  Uh uh, girlfriend!  *snap snap* Save your money and go to your local KFC.   Good lord, woman!  You have personal chefs... and your wasting money and fedex's time on this grease pit? 

Next time you want Ezell's chicken, you send the money to me and I will fly out and slap you if you think that'll help.

Seriously?  Please don't tell me Ezell is related to you.

 

Much Love (and please send me money),

Daniel

happy

malcolm says: danyul iz happee

I hate bicyclists

I hate bicyclists... and I'm not going to be sorry for saying that, so don't even think about giving me that look.

Yes, I totally agree biking instead of driving is better for the environment.  I'm all for it!  Heck, I want to get a bike too and try biking to work.  But, what I hate, is those bikers that don't share the road.  Maybe I'm not educated on the laws, but what I see happening just seems wrong to me.  

Why can bicyclists weave their way in between traffic all the way to the front of the line?   This morning, while sitting at a stop light, a bicyclist weaseled his way up the long line behind me and parked his spandex covered butt right in front of me waiting for the light.  He even backed himself up so he was a foot in front of me.... waited for the green light, then went on his way.  I really really really resisted the urge to accelerate and smack him in the ass with my bumper.  If we're supposed to share the road, shouldn't they obey the same rules?  If he can maneuver his ass to the front, why can't I?  Shouldn't he have to sit in line like the rest of us?

I'm a very patient person when it comes to traffic.  Waiting for him wasn't the problem.  It's just the unfairness that bothers me.

I'd rant more since bicyclists get in my way every day, but luckily for you, dear reader, I have a meeting to attend.

i can throw things out.

It's been almost 3 months since I started here and since day 1 I've been asking for a garbage can.  Apparently they are in short supply.  I even had my manager sign off on ordering a garbage can from officemax, which I never received... I'm sure someone ninja'd it as soon as it came in.

Today, Rachel, sat down at her desk next to me and said "I think I saw some garbage cans upstairs..".   To which I responded "OMG WHERE?!"

So, today, at almost 3 months of employment, I am the happy owner of a ninja'd garbage can.  I can now throw things out.  wow.

another 10 minute drawing

oneiricvision said:
"yarr i want you to draw an egg and inside the egg there be an island, and on the island there is a little frog on a palm tree holding two gold doubloons. Oh, and the egg should be on a pillow with tassels and fringes. "

cage

there's a server rack that's been sitting next to my desk for days now. 

at night, when no one is here, I live out my dream of being a go go dancer and I cage dance.

email fwd

a bunch of these are going around the office email system, thought i'd share.

bibbity bobbity boo

as it turns out, magic sand really isn't all that magical.

anyone? hellooo?

anyone love me enough to buy me this? 

http://www.tigerdirect.com/applications/searchtools/item-Details.asp?EdpNo=2512312&AffiliateID=JiKFT4_PBl4-V19tNlyz001Sm.B0yYDjCw

*sad face*

 

 

 

*pout*

 

hahaha, yeah i didn't think so.

waiting

is it sad that i can never just wait for a package to show up? i have to sit here and keep refreshing the page until it says 'delivered'... and then i'll run upstairs and get it.

lord knows i can't just subscribe and wait for the alert, that just wouldn't be fast enough.

Prada Princess

"You want me to pay? Me? ...but i'm carrying Prada! Like, seriously."

random pic buddies

who wants to be a random pic buddy?  i used to love to send random pics from my camera phone with various friends.... kinda a twitter, but pic style.

if you would like to...send me a face shot (for a phone book pic) along with your screenname (in case i don't recognize the shot... hehe)... i'll send something back.

(two zero six) nine two two - one one one one

haiku to my cereal

organic flax plus®
makes my tummy go mmm mmm
and my butt go poo

stains stains and more stains

 

Someone, around 2 years ago, told me I should put down a canvas or something on my desk and capture all the coffee stains.

So I did. I found a giant sheet of coated paper and put it down. It was looking pretty cool until I had a giant spill yesterday and washed most of it out.

It looked cooler when i inverted the pic.

maybe i'll start again.

sad thing is... this is about a weeks worth... hehe

new wallet

went to chinese for lunch today and browsed a small novelty store before leaving... look what i found, heh

why i hate people

yet another reason to despise people in general.

like this person couldn't have used one of the other several hundred open spots in the lot....they had to squeeze in next to me.  gawd, i hate you so much!!

instead of going home with the cat food i needed you made me walk around longer at barnes and nobles and buy books i didn't need...ARGH!!!

spontaneity hurts

i'm so dumb

Me: OMG, i'm so stupid... ugh!
Malcolm: You bought something didn't you?
Me: Yes...30gb zune... the old one tho!
Malcolm: Daniel, you have no money!
Me: I noze....
Malcolm: Daniel, you work 2 jobs now just to support your addiction!
Me: 3 jobs...
Malcom: 3 jobs!  Now think if you'd stop buying, you could maybe work 2.
Me: But... it was on sale...

You can't see me picking my nose...

I'm camouflaged!!

o noze!

Look what I did on the way home last night.

Cid2042 says he loves how spontaneous I am.

Chinese cat

Chinese cat is Chinese!